current # archives # profile
# email # notes # host # image # design

-
2009-04-04, 11:46 p.m.

I saw my mom today.
She bought me a new jacket I can wear since it’s spring right now…
We went to the mall and she bought me the jacket I picked out.
I felt like shit the whole time because she kept yapping on and on about how N should take care me financially, that he’s a ’good for nothing persian boy’.
I hate it when she is like that because I don’t know what to do, I disappear and I let V take over.
He nods, listens, makes fun of me, it’s very unpleasant getting attacked by two people at the same time.
But if I don’t let V take over, I am going to lose my cool and start yelling at my mom and that would end badly for both of us.
She wouldn’t stop there, she would keep saying ‘if you hadn’t met that boy your life would have been so much better’ bullshit.
No.
I’ve told her a thousand times that I would have been dead years ago if N hadn’t saved me.
Sure, he is not perfect and he is unemployed right now but that is not because he wants to be.
It’s hard to find a job these days.
And he has been working since he was a kid.
He dropped out of school to take care of *me* because of *you*.
You abused me, my dad wasn’t the only one even if you deny it.
Anyway, to forget about everything she said I just disappeared.
Now I have to pay the price.
I’m all over the place, I can’t concentrate, I have a headache and I feel like calling her and giving her a piece of my mind.
But it’s almost midnight and my mom is never going to change no matter what I tell her.
Sure, she says stupid stuff but I still love her.
I told N about what happened and his reaction was ‘she’s a bitch’.
He started saying bad things about her just like she says about him and I’m trapped in the fucking middle feeling like utter shit.
I just can’t take it…it’s just too much.
I need to forget about it.
I need to forget everything my mom said today.
I’m better off that way.
Not even my dad goes that far...he doesn't talk about N at all.
He doesn't even mention N's name and believe me, my dad really hates my husband.
So I don't get why my mom is acting this way.
Cussing, calling him names, it's uncalled for.
Especially after all the times N has helped her.

last - next