current # archives # profile
# email # notes # host # image # design

-
2009-04-24, 8:33 p.m.

I’m feeling strange.
Not good, not bad…I’m still smoking a couple of cigarettes a day.
My MD weighed me and I’m overweight.
I already knew that but I’d avoided the scale for a while so I got quite a shock when I found out how much I weigh.
I’m trying to do something about it, I’m not starving but I’m trying to diet.
It’s hard to lose weight the ‘healthy‘ way.
It used to be so easy…
I’m used to eating whatever I want and then purging, dieting is totally different.
I’m trying to take walks, I don’t know if it’s working or not, losing weight takes time.
I miss being underweight, it felt so damn good.
Anyway, I had some blood tests done and I am going to call my MD on Monday or Tuesday to find out if everything was normal.
I also found out that I suffer from tinnitus.
I am probably going to hear that sound in my left ear for the rest of my life and that depresses the hell out of me.
Fuck.
It’s my own fault, I listened to loud music everyday so I wouldn’t hear the voices in my head and now I have to pay the price.
My parents are totally in denial.
My mom thinks that my doctor is stupid, that the tinnitus will disappear with some prayers.
I’m so sick of her.
I’m kind of angry at her too.

last - next