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2009-05-23, 1:20 p.m.
I’m so bored.
N is still sleeping.
I have nothing to do.
I’m craving cigarettes like crazy.
I should drink a cup of tea or have lunch.
I didn’t keep anything down yesterday and I went to bed hungry but right now I’m not hungry at all.
I wish I had money so I could go to the movies with N.
We are completely broke.
But we are (hopefully) going to receive money from the insurance company on Wednesday.
If they keep their word, they’ve lied before.
We’ll see.
I have a lot to do today.
God, I wish I could have a smoke everything would feel easier.
I have to do the laundry.
And after that force myself to eat lunch.
I need the nutrition, whenever I stand up everything becomes blurry, sometimes I don’t see at all for a couple of seconds.
It’s scary.
I’ve lost 20 pounds so far but I need to lose at least another 20.
It’s hard to diet and stop smoking at the same time.
I keep trying to come up with excuses so I can smoke.
Maybe you’ve noticed…
Never mind.
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