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2009-06-27, 12:28 a.m.

It’s Friday night and I am home alone…again.
But it’s okay, right? Because N has been spending every single minute with me, it’s good that he gets to hang out with his friends.
I am not a little kid, I *can* stay home alone, I won’t freak out.
Well, the voices are yelling at me because I purged this afternoon and when I weighed myself I had lost 2 pounds then I binged again about an hour ago and I purged, got on the scale again and I had gained back the 2 pounds.
It made me go insane.
I thought of pulling my hair out, then V told me to set myself on fire but I called N instead.
I asked him if he thought I was fat and ugly.
He said I’m beautiful…
So I calmed down.
That’s it! I’m fucking fasting tomorrow, I am going to fast for 10 days.
I really want to lose weight fast.
I can’t take it anymore.
I need to do something about it.

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