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2009-08-24, 8:03 p.m.

Saturday night, I became psychotic.
I was so paralyzed with fear that I couldn’t move for several hours.
N was with his friends.
All of a sudden, the room got dark even though the lights were on.
I saw blue rays of light in the room, and the voices materialized and became demons floating around me. Without any faces of course.
There was insects everywhere, even under my skin.
Ants, cockroaches, beetles.
I was so afraid.
I tried to move, but I couldn’t, I just sat there for hours until N came home 4am and helped me take zyprexa and a xanax.
Then he helped me to bed.
I have never been that afraid in my entire life.
Ever.
It wasn’t the demons that scared me, or the insects, it was the fact that I could not move.

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