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2009-10-26, 9:24 p.m.

I saw my mom today.
I asked her if she wanted to come visit me on my birthday.
I’ve already invited N’s family.
Except N’s dad, he refused to come when he heard that Mona, his ex wife (N‘s mom) was coming.
But so far I’ve invited N’s two brothers and his mom, my sister and her boyfriend and also two close friends.
When I first asked my mom, she got angry at me.
She said ‘why would I come visit you on your birthday? It’s too far away…I don’t feel like taking a bus to come see you. It’s too much of a hassle.’
I just sat there like an idiot and thought to myself, that I see demons on the bus every time I take it but I still go see her every week.
And I go see her at least two times every fucking goddamn week.
But it’s too much of a hassle? On my birthday?
I see her in a different light now.
It’s kind of embarrassing, I *know* for a fact that my friends are going to ask where my mom is.
Mona asked me if she was coming, I said ‘I dunno’.
Maybe everyone will wonder why the fuck they have been invited here for?
Since my biological family doesn’t care enough to show up.
It feels kind of meaningless but I can’t cancel it.
It’s too late. I’ve already told everyone to come by next Saturday, not this weekend but the next one.
7th of November.

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