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2009-10-31, 7:11 p.m.

Today is the day we celebrate the dead in Sweden.
The last day of October, people who have lost loved ones go to their graves and light candles and leave flowers.
My friend May’s mother passed away 5 years ago.
Today was the first time I visited her grave.
I took flowers with me and I lit a candle.
It was very emotional.
I cried.
Because this woman was special to me.
She helped me through a lot.
Her death felt surreal until today when I stood in front of her grave.
May was with me. She was happy that she wasn‘t alone.
I binged and purged this afternoon because I was sad.
I binged as soon as I came home too, I am going to purge after I’ve written this entry.
I can’t explain what I am feeling right now.
May’s mother tried to help me so many times…
I wish I had been there her last days but I was living in a town far away and I was very very sick.
I hope she is in a better place now.

I wrote this entry http://enurta.diaryland.com/050921_86.html a couple of years ago when I found out she was dead. Feel free to read it, it's a tribute.

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