-
2009-11-21, 7:45 p.m.
I’ve lost two pounds.
I haven’t weighed this much (little?) in two years.
It feels great.
I am now only a couple of lbs away from my goal.
Of course, I have been binging and purging.
I would lie if I could but my knuckles expose the truth.
Otherwise, I am okay I think.
Need to stop purging though because I am making N sad.
I don’t care about myself but I care about him and if purging makes him upset then I am going to do my best to avoid it.
I’ve avoided purging in the past, I can do it again.
I’m bored.
N is celebrating a friend’s birthday out of town.
He’ll be home tomorrow morning.
I’ve got nothing better to do, so I’ve cleaned the apartment and I’m going to take the bus to go see my mom.
Why not? She feels less lonely when I’m around.
She has no on else to talk to.
No friends, no family here in Sweden.
I like my mom when she’s not mean.
Most of the time, she’s not mean at all but sometimes she says hurtful things so I have to keep a certain distance from her.
I listen, but I forget almost everything she tells me.
I often black-out when I’m there.
Because it hurts too much to be in monster’s home.
There’s a picture of him in the living room.
God, I really hate that photo of him.
He really looks like a fucking monster in that picture.
last - next
0 comments so far